Alien vs. Ninja – Review

Alien vs. Ninja introduces us to Yamata who was an orphan but grew up to be the best ninja in Asia. OK, I don’t know why I am trying to give some credible backstory to this flick. Don’t go in expecting anything else, other than aliens fighting ninjas. Nothing more or less here, and from the offset, we actually get some pretty cool battles. It provides impressive stunts and exaggerated gore that keep upping the ante. I suppose what I am trying to say is, it does just enough in all the right places to make this worth taking time to check out.

It seems like this whole wacky film is filmed in a forest and combined with ludicrous gore and sticky special effects, it feels very similar to Versus. I suppose this was a trick the director wanted to pull because the aliens initially appear as little more than brief CGI flashes jumping between the trees. It is a fun movie, I won’t detest that, but it seriously lacks in structure, composition, and artistic integrity. But, if you are watching a movie about aliens fighting ninja’s I suppose you’re more concerned with fun and bloodshed.  Luckily, those actually choosing to see the film won’t be expecting anything less, because let’s face it, the movie sucks.

The cave fight between a fine lady ninja and a perverted alien is just way too silly.  It’s clichéd as hell and other films in this genre have perfected the pacing way better in the past. I’m not going to let the director off with a low budget pass, and horror hounds that follow my site know exactly what I mean by that. These types of films are getting made at a faster rate and it seems the level of quality is going down. The aliens in this film look like rubbery dinosaur lizards and they are beyond laughable. It just comes across as stupid and plays to the lowest common denominator.  The hungry brutal aliens starts to savage and feast on the Ninja warriors, leaving only few to survive. Why even let a war break out? It never fully explains!

See this movie with a group of friends if you want to get the most out of this paper thin film, which is the only way I can recommend this film.  Surprisingly crisp swordplay will be the only redeeming factor walking away from this film and I am glad i lasted past the dreadful first 30 minutes where the pacing is so slow I almost slipped into a coma. It is generally pointless to gimmick ninjas in the advertisements considering all of their weapons are useless against the alien invaders. Next time Sushi Typhoon, use your powers for good and release something a bit more tangible, something a bit more smarter, and something that doesn’t insult our intelligence. Then again, films of this nature are exactly what you sign up for. So perhaps I am missing the point. As it stands, a huge thumbs down on all levels.